This is a very important and emotional topic for me. Being 50 years old, I survived the AIDS holocaust of the early 80s. Almost an entire generation of gay men. I knew over 500 people who died of AIDs or AIDs related health issues. And still to this day a few more each year continue to die.
So let's get some things cleared up.
I can honestly say if I were on the receiving end, no one I didn't know, love, and totally trust would be shoving a raw dick up my butt period.
If a bottom boy wants me to use protection it is absolutely not a problem.
If a bottom is HIV positive, I will wear protection and common sense will prevail, or they will not get fucked and i don't care if the viral load is not detectable.
If a bottom says he is HIV negative, I will leave the barebacking option up to him, but he must also realize that if my 'Spidey Sense' says to cover up, he shouldn't be offended.
If a bottom wants to get tested with me at the same time and place before fucking with reckless abandon, that can also be arranged.
We all know the proper thing to do is never fuck without protection. We all know this. Some other things we know never to do are smoke tobaco or weed, drink alcohol or caffeine, stay out to late, take recreational drugs, eat fsst foods, screw around, talk on a cell phone while driving, eat while driving, text while driving, drive with one hand on the wheel, driving under the influence, jay-walk, curse, ride a motorcycle without a helmet, skydiving, bungee-jumping, suck a dick, fuck a butt ... and the list goes on.
We all take unnecessary risks everyday, drive a car, jay-walk, etc. Unprotected sex is taking an unnecessary risk. So if you are going to bareback, understand the risks, educate yourself, have a heart to heart conversation with your doctor and don't make the decision lightly. The life you save may very well be your own. Being a Total Top, I take this risk very seriously. It is a huge responsibilty when a bottom takes that 'leap of faith' and trusts that he will leave our encounter as healthy as he entered into it (well his butt may be kinda sore but it's that good kinda sore). So I get tested regularly and keep a close eye on my health. Being a total top my risk of infection during unprotected sex is significantly less than being a bottom, but that certainly doesn't make it right.
Before taking this unecessary risk, don't be afraid to have the 'conversation' with your sex partner. Whatever you do, don't cave under pressure. Make sure the decision to go 'ala naturel' is made with the brain in your head, and not Minnie-Me's brain in your pants. Decisions are only as good as the information upon which they are based so learn about the risks and make your decisions, informed decisions.
If I should find out I am HIV positive, I will promptly say so on this website. I will not hide it.
While I am on the subject:
Being HIV positive is tragic, but it is nothing to be ashamed about. We are all human and sometimes we make poor decisions, and sometimes we put our trust and confidence in the wrong people. Shit happens. When shit happens you have to clean up the shit the best you can and move on. HIV is a life sentence., not a death sentence.
There was a young man who wanted to make a vid when we first came to DC. He was gorgeous and proud that he was a total slut bottom. I agreed to fuck him but told him I would use protection since he was such a slut (which isn't necessarily a bad thing) and had never been tested (that was a bad thing) and knew nothing about HIV or other STDS (also a bad thing). He said it would have to be bareback or nothing. So I did not fuck him. He was more than a tad peaved. A few months later I got an IM from him. He had just gotten tested and was HIV positive. He was an emotional train wreck and knew no one he could turn to. We still chat, and he is moving onward and upward and no we never did make that video, his choice, not mine.